Gratitude: siblings

(He's reading to her.)

My sisters are a tremendous blessing in my life; they get my corny humor (ad inwardly think I'm hilarious, but are too cool to admit it), they relate to my overly-romantic sensibilities, they share faith in Jesus with me. I am spoiled to have the gorgeous, talented, interesting, deep wells of wisdom and character in the sisters I have. 

It gives me joy to see Ransom and Hosanna interact. Sure, I have to monitor to make sure he doesn't drop/throw something on her and I know she'll become savvy to the trick of shifting blame/getting sympathy by crying, but these kids are still blessings.  Oh, how Hosanna zeroes in on Ransom when he's around and how she smiles when he comes close to her. She looks up to him already. I feel so grateful every time Ransom asks to hold her or wants her near to him, or when he includes her in conversation. Or the time he was sitting in the cart in the store and reached back to hold her hand for several minutes to comfort her when she was crying. I am so looking forward to their future interactions and am praying for them to be best friends. Praying that he'll protect her and look after her. Praying that she'll encourage him and cheer him on. 

It goes without saying, but I am so thankful for these kids.

Spontaneous worship

A perk of being married to a worship leader is that spontaneous worship just sort if happens occasionally. I was sitting on the couch, nursing baby girl after having just returned from breakfast out with AJ's aunt Kris (although I claim her too, she's lovey!) and his dad, Jon. Ransom brings a Bible storybook to Aunt Kris to have her read to him. The guitar is pulled out. Soon father and son are playing the worship songs that are on their minds. Hosanna finished nursing and watched and listened, bouncing to the music.

Three generations worshiping right there in the living room. This moves my heart to gratitude.

It's simple. It's informal. Didn't last long. It's how worship happens sometimes, and I love it. 

Mama's a worship leader, too.

Yesterday I wrote about how my dad has led me in worship by his example. For the second day of Worship in Real Life, I want to share about the treasure that is my mom.

This picture was taken from my mom's week long visit after Hosanna was born. She came from South Dakota after Ransom's birth, too. On her visits she sends Andrew and me on dates. She does the dishes. She holds babies so I can take showers. She keeps me company and we have talks and lots of tea. On her last visit she took scraps of fabric and fashioned a bag to hold our birthday banner because I'd been using a ziplock gallon bag. She picks flowers and puts them in the window. She'll play the piano. My mom is a celebrator of life. When a grandchild is born, she'll be there with her suitcase, a handmade blanket (or two), finding petty solutions, ready to minister, ready to hold, watch, serve.

To this daughter whose love language is acts of service, I witness such love from my mom's example, and I see it as her love for Jesus being poured out, perfume for his feet. 

Like with my dad, I have memories of worshiping with my mom in church, but it is the everyday intentional acts of service and senseless acts of beauty she presents that show me a different side of giving glory to Jesus in real life.

A letter to 5 month old Hosanna

Hosanna, you're 5 months old now! The sleepy newborn girl is gone. You're so animated and you love to try out your voice (and it's distinctly girly sounding)! You light up when we make eye contact and talk or sing to you. You are a daddy's girl, always have been. You also love your brother and like to touch his hair and coo at him! We love how cuddly you are and how you like to hold hands. You smile and sputter when we tickle you.

Your one-dimpled smile is so sweet; we're enjoying your toothless grin while we can because the way you put everything in your mouth lets us know you're teething. We just started putting you in a chair at the table with us and we love it. Soon you'll start eating solid food. 

Your hair is lighter, except for a dark patch at the nape of your neck. There's a blonde streak on top of your head, so Daddy's taken to calling you "Goldilock".

Rolling over is so easy to you but you're not a pro yet at getting where you want to go; you end up by the legos a lot. I suspect you already like Anne of Green Gables because you wouldn't sleep both times it was on, even though you couldn't see it. We'll watch it together soon enough, my kindred spirit!!!

Sometimes we call you Zanna. We are delighted with you. You are our little beauty. 

My dad is a worship leader.

Growing up, my family was that one that was into classic musicals, sang the Doxology in harmony at the dinner table, and my dad would play his guitar and sing to my sisters and me before bed. I have memories of being at church as a little girl, standing next to my dad, worshipping Jesus. He has no trouble clapping, raising his hands, moving to the music, singing with his whole heart, with his whole heart. 

What I love about my dad and his worship leading is that my memories of him worshiping Jesus is not just in the four walls of the church building, but he has a deep love and reverence, an awareness for God wherever he is. 

Memories come to mind of when we've been camping, and my dad will be so giddy and funny and burst out into song, joy spilling out of him. Or in my adult years how during every phone conversation, every family vacation, he reiterates and verbalizes how thankful he is, how blessed we are. 

Jesus, pass this generational blessing onto me and my children, and their children's children, this love for You, this devotion, this gratitude. Joy overflowing because of who You are.

these moccasins were made for mothering

Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? Mine are here immortalized:

I rescued them from a free bin. The fact that they were moccasins and made me feel a little like Tiger Lily won me over. Since then they've molded to fit my feet; once too tight, now they fit perfectly. 

They were worn on long walks with my son in the umbrella stroller as I walked the neighborhood around our apartment, walked to the post office, walked to the grocery store, walked to just kill time till AJ came home. 

I wore them to the coast this summer and brought my weeks old daughter with me for a high school girls beach day. Newborns and beaches don't necessarily go together and sometimes you need to apply sunscreen twice, yes, even though you don't think to because you're holding a baby. 

If you look closely at the left moccasin, there's a little smudge of Blue Zircon paint from this week when we painted Ransom's new/used/big boy/toddler bed.

I sense our family is in a season in which one day we'll say "Those were some golden years." We're in the happily chaotic time of parenting a toddler and a baby. A close friend lives with us, providing important community and an occasional babysitter for scoffed quick coffee dates when AJ and I need to hear only the other's voice. We're renting a house now and working on paying off debt. On account of that I'm becoming resourceful to a fault or maybe a hippie.

Looking at the wear on these moccasins makes me remember these times. When I see them I recall the story of how God provides, how surely His goodness and unfailing love is pursuing our family. We aren't fabulously wealthy, but we are. They are my thankful shoes. 

I had a baby girl

Lately I've been asking myself, "Is this really happening?" The reason is I feel so blessed, so rich, when I see my handsome husband and know I'm his and he's mine, when I observe Ransom playing King David or Mowgli or Joseph in Egypt, when I say "Hi Hosanna" and get a toothless grin in return. Oh the toothless grin, how it slays me! (In the best way.) 

Baby girl Hosanna is almost 4 months, she's a delight, loves & lives to cuddle, is enthralled with her big brother, and she lights up when you lock eyes with her and sing or talk to her. Ransom is a great big brother, always wanting to know where Hosanna is when she's not in the room, giving her a role like Baloo (Jungle Book) or Pooh/Roo (Hundred Acre Wood)*, even trying to comfort her when she's crying. I'm teaching him to pray for her too.

Time's going so fast and I needed to record a few of these things. They are important, and I don't want to forget what now feels like.

*In Jungle book play I'm usually Bagheera and AJ's Shere Khan; in the Hundred Acre Wood, AJ's Tigger & I'm Kanga. 

A bit of Beauty: family

My in-laws live in town now! Also, Christopher, my bro-in-law came to help them move & to visit us. I snapped this picture last night, wanting to remember how Ransom has quickly taken to having family around. It is so sweet to my spirit to be living moments like this.

A bit of Beauty: dreamcake

Tried a new recipe yesterday via one of my favorite food blogs: mynewroots.blogspot.com. It's called cashew dreamcake, it's vegan, raw, husband approved, and everything in it is healthy for you! I had no qualms giving the little boy a second (small) helping!

Moriah's visit...don't you wish you had a classy sister like her?

My little sister Moriah visited last week, for her interim break from university. We had her to ourselves for seven days! It was delightful!

(Side note: this girl is going to be going on her first missions trip to Nicaragua & Costa Rica next month & I wanted to present the opportunity for you, dear reader, to help her raise the money to go. It's tough to be a sincere follower of Jesus when you're attending a secular university, so I anticipate God working in big ways in the lives involved as Moriah is obedient and seeks God & what He's doing in other nations. If you're interested in contributing any amount email me at rajbeaird@gmail.com & I can connect you to the girl. BTW, she didn't ask me to do it, I felt a pressing to put it out there. Thank you in advance!)


Ransom got to spend some quality time with his auntie.


She spread some of her beauty around. Case in point: we made snowflakes out of book pages. They're still there.


She made her blonde brownies & tried out a new cranberry orange candied ginger scone recipe, twice! Wish my kitchen could be blessed with her baking more often!



We thrifted. We watched some old musicals. We had a couple knitting parties. We listened to lots of records. We went through a few pomegranates.

We went to the coast with Tia!


I'm so thankful to have been blessed with Moriah's presence in our family for a week. It feels home-like to be around her.

when Jesus was showing off, part 2

Tonight, I'm continuing on a theme from the previous post about how this week has been altering my attitude. Let me explain more by telling the story about an innocent thrifting trip AJ and I had at Goodwill today, and how Jesus used it to, again, show off His crazy love for me.

If you would be so kind, note the shiny, orange family of cookware posing for a picture at the front of our stove. These caught my eye as I was casually scoping out the housewares section, and I flipped them over to check their quality.


Well, they're good, very good quality. Le Creuset. Three lofty Le Creuset pieces resting on the shelves of an ordinary Goodwill. There's a Dutch (or should I say French) oven with a lid, a small saucepan with a spout, and a nice little skillet that begs for some butter to be melted in it. The skillet alone, on the Le Creuset website costs $75 new. The Dutch oven, over $200. We paid $70 for all three pieces.

Andrew bought them for me for my Christmas & birthday (Dec 26) present because after we happened upon this extraordinary discovery, he wanted to really bless me.

I'm still amazed at this find. I'm not used to having really nice things, and I don't expect to get them. So when something like this happens, I'm caught off guard. It feels like a miracle.

(Today I'm linking up to her library adventures, sharing the find.)


Tonight I told AJ how this week has been so much better than I could have hoped. With the band recording the album this week, requiring his absence in the evenings, I expected a lot of loneliness, feeling overwhelmed with the baby, not having the car, the rainy weather & simply missing my husband. But it's been great. Just as the girls prayed on Tuesday, I have been able to be creative (there are still lots of ideas ruminating in my cranium, waiting for action), to have quality time with friends, to have little reprieving pockets of good time with AJ, I've been able to simply enjoy my almost 1 year old son, and I've seen expressions of God's grace poured out on me this week. Like finding Le Creuset cookware that I'd never imagined I'd get to own.

Jesus showing off again.

I told AJ I almost expected to be resentful about the time he'd be away during the recording. It'd be so easy to gripe "He's off doing the band thing while I'm stuck here..." but that hasn't been the issue at all. Looking back at the last several days, I see God's kindness toward me each day has been instrumental in forming a new attitude in me. There's been joy in knowing Andrew's hard work, his faithfulness at pursuing a dream is going to be rewarded soon with an album. It's been a long time coming, and I told him he can rest assured I'm sending him off to record with my blessing, rooting him on from home.

It's not about the luxury of being able to cook with fancy pans. I'm simply aware of the undeserved love Jesus has sent my way & how this week it's doing it's beautifying work in me. He is good.

Apple-ing

Today we went apple-ing at the Poets' farm. Some of us picked apples (Andrew & others). Some of us peeled them, cored them, and cut them up. Some of us stirred the applesauce on the stove. Some of us made apple cider. Some of us heard new music and found a new favorite band (me). Someone else was cuddled and peek-a-booed with and fascinated with the dogs and cats, shrieking at them (Ransom).
There were good talks. Ideas shared, stories told, recipes talked about, music jargon thrown around, Christmas conspiring.
Andrew & I agreed as we left. Our spirits were fed today while we were apple-ing with our adopted Oregon family.

So grateful.

Tonight we ate applesauce, tomorrow we'll break out the apple cider.
This is a beautiful time of year. :)

notes

Notes regarding life lately:

-My baby boy is growing up and becoming more independent! Okay, he's not even officially crawling yet, but he got on all fours today and rocked a bit, and he turned the pages as I was reading to him tonight (with his left hand, mind you). Baby steps... Maybe listening to Nat King Cole on the record player and playing on the floor with Ransom will slow time down.


-We have acquired a record player and music sounds really good on it. Favorite music thus far: Eugene Bible College's Simple Faith (an album from the 70s, I think), Nat King Cole, Bing Crosby, and some Bill Cosby stand up comedy excerpts.
-I am learning how to be a youth pastor's wife. It is scary & unknown territory for me, a job I didn't ask for or expect but find myself with. Balancing priorities is hard, but I know the order goes:
-God
-Andrew
-Ransom
-ministry/work
Often I'm off balance, but right now feels like a good time where I'm learning a lot & am hopefully remaining teachable to see how God wants to keep shaping me into a daughter that honors Him.
-Sort of related to the last note: did you know homemaking can be an idol?! What?!! Um, yeah, so, I'm beginning to get that. Homemaking=good thing. Wife=good; mom=good. But, if any of these things take more attention away from God, they're not so good things. Ouch. But, good to know, and to watch out for.
-October came very quickly. It is very important to me to savor this fall season (Ransom's first complete one) and to enjoy this precious season.
-We have identified the need to not just say we're on a budget, but to live it. We're doing a lot of math lately, and it can look scary sometimes, but having a plan is liberating even in its limits. I'm inspired.
-Two families (each family with five kids!) are inspiring me lately. The Driscolls are so encouraging in their love for Jesus and the ways they're living that out, and the Soules inspire me with their simplicity, creativity, and appreciation for the seasons (Amanda makes me want to learn the purl stitch).
-Tomorrow I'm looking forward to coffee with a sweet girl in her first year of college and to a date with my husband while the Poets babysit Ransom.


(This picture is from September 28th, tanniversary of our relationship's start. We're sitting at the table of the patisserie where AJ & I officially became a couple. )

May highlights in photos

Contained within this entry is a picture-heavy post (that's for you, familia!) of some photo highlights of the month of May. I'll include little captions with some of them. Enjoy!

Andrew had a birthday, so we took him out to breakfast. Here he is receiving his gift from Ransom.

We celebrated with dump cake at the home of some friends. It was his twenty fifth birthday. TWENTY FIVE YEARS!!

Ransom tried out a bumbo chair, and decided it worked pretty well.

Transfixed.

Mothers Day morning, my first! We have a mirror at the top of the stairs, and we'll stand in front of it and ask, "Who's that little boy in the mirror?" Ransom will often smile and gasp when we do.

When no one's around I ask the mirror, "Who's the fairest of them all?", but I haven't received an answer yet. This mirror is lacking in magic.

Another Mothers Day photo.
Andrew bought me coffee on the way to church (a sure way to please me), we ate lunch at Chipotle and had (vegan!) frozen yogurt at my favorite local spot, then went treasure hunting, also known as thrifting. Andrew gave me supplies for a coupon binder, too, which thrilled me!
Sundays are a work day for Andrew and have a tendency to feel frantic as we tag along, but Mothers Day was a wonderful day with relaxing gaps between responsibilities. I had several "Oh my gosh, I'm a mama to this adorable baby" moments and was able to enjoy this little boy.


We were able to reconnect with Brad, a professor of ours from Bible college, who was visiting from Canada with some students he was leading.

The students took over the Sunday night youth service on Mothers Day and did an amazing job. We spent some time with Brad and the students afterward and Ransom was a big hit with the girls. :)

Ransom wearing his mohawk hat. Our friend Jenni made it for him. On this day, we went to the public library and Ransom got two compliments on it, one of them from an amateur fashion designer! Ha! Ransom's such a fashion forward baby...

We got to reconnect with our friend Chris.

Ransom watched me as I planted some herbs on our front stoop.

We had some quality piano time this month. Ransom tried it out himself.

We went to a graduation reception for Forrest and were able to reconnect with our friends Cory & Bekah & their little boys!

Ransom having tummy time while he's at work with me.

He caught a lion! Okay, maybe I gave it to him. :)

Thanks for reading!