Grace Blanket

Reading bits of Timothy Keller & Charles Spurgeon has been good for me. Some things have come into focus that I've needed to see. 

In "The King's Cross", Keller contrasts religion and the gospel. Religion is do's and don'ts, the lists if what is required so I am acceptable, and it puts the focus on me. Me working out my salvation, trying to earn it. Tiring stuff, but even so, my tendency is toward religion and collecting accomplishments that make me a model Christian girl. A gospel mindset is different because gospel means "good news", and knowing the good news of "though our sins are scarlet, He washed them white as snow," asks for a different response. It promotes worshiping the real God and not my accomplished self. It's grace, a free, costly gift. 

This morning in the "Evening and Morning" app (it's free in iTunes!), Spurgeon talked about the Lord's Prayer and how the first phrase, "Our Father" indicates the importance of our grasping the spirit of adoption. That blew me away. He's my Father through adoption, not because I was so awesome that I deserved to be picked. 

The theme I see is Jesus in His grace saved me; I strive so hard to do things to merit that salvation, but I miss out when I do. I want to live under the blanket of grace, so, so aware if the good news that saves.

Gratitude: siblings

(He's reading to her.)

My sisters are a tremendous blessing in my life; they get my corny humor (ad inwardly think I'm hilarious, but are too cool to admit it), they relate to my overly-romantic sensibilities, they share faith in Jesus with me. I am spoiled to have the gorgeous, talented, interesting, deep wells of wisdom and character in the sisters I have. 

It gives me joy to see Ransom and Hosanna interact. Sure, I have to monitor to make sure he doesn't drop/throw something on her and I know she'll become savvy to the trick of shifting blame/getting sympathy by crying, but these kids are still blessings.  Oh, how Hosanna zeroes in on Ransom when he's around and how she smiles when he comes close to her. She looks up to him already. I feel so grateful every time Ransom asks to hold her or wants her near to him, or when he includes her in conversation. Or the time he was sitting in the cart in the store and reached back to hold her hand for several minutes to comfort her when she was crying. I am so looking forward to their future interactions and am praying for them to be best friends. Praying that he'll protect her and look after her. Praying that she'll encourage him and cheer him on. 

It goes without saying, but I am so thankful for these kids.

Gratitude: Lots of Things

Lots to be grateful for today, but high on the list is the knowledge that God is working a bigger plan than I can understand, and He's faithful to leave evidence. 

The church my in-laws pastor (also the church I attended through college) had it's 15 year anniversary today and I was able to go to the service. It was soul-enriching to see people again, and to see AJ's parents leading in their new position, and it made me feel still a part of things going on there, still a part of the church family.

The rest of the day was spent as family together. Coffee & conversation, grandma & grandpa time for Ransom & Hosanna, window shopping, finding a pretty dress for $5.99, and more coffee and conversation. Good memories were made today. 

Take Him at His word

Yesterday Ephesians 3:12 stood out to me. It talks about how in Jesus we can approach God with confidence and freedom. That caught my attention because I think when I approach God, I do so with hesitation or with a "if you have time for me" or "if it's not too mug trouble..." sort of tone. Even after years of being a Christian, I struggle with this. 

So this morning I decided to experiment. My friend's car was broken into last night, nothing stolen, but she'll have to pay to get the window repaired and te whole thing is a bummer. So after dropping her off at work, in lieu of listening to music or a podcast, I asked God to bless her and that she'd get lots of tips today. The most tips she's ever had at work so far. 

Talked to her this afternoon and she did.

What!!!!! God totally answered my experimental prayer! He CARES about the details! He is so good at loving us. :)

Accepting Advice from Spurgeoun

Recently I came upon a free app that is based on the devotional Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon. There's two readings each day, one for morning & one for evening. Clever, no?

I rarely have a chance to read both, but I always get something good out of the devotional when I do. 

Recently God's been showing me that I need to rely more on him in my exchanges with strangers and people I come across regularly. I tend toward being an introvert and sometimes use that personality trait of mine to justify my timidity. I've felt uneasy about this trait of mine, like I'm robbing myself of an experience to brighten up someone's day. It could be simple effort on my part that opens the door for Jesus to use me to reflect his love. 

Here's an excerpt from the devotions on October 20 that stood out to me: 

"You may be of a timid disposition, but you must strive against it, lest it lead you into disobedience. There is a sweet promise made to those who confess Christ—by no means miss it, lest you come under the condemnation of those who deny him. If you have talents keep not back from using them. Hoard not your wealth, waste not your time; let not your abilities rust or your influence be unused. Jesus kept not back; imitate him by being foremost in self-denials and self-sacrifices. Keep not back from close communion with God, from boldly appropriating covenant blessings, from advancing in the divine life, from prying into the precious mysteries of the love of Christ. Neither, beloved friend, be guilty of keeping others back by your coldness, harshness, or suspicions. For Jesus' sake go forward yourself, and encourage others to do the like."

Dedicated

Today we had Hosanna dedicated to Jesus. Instead of baptizing babies, our church's denomination dedicates babies by praying a blessing over them and having the church participate. I love baby dedications!

AJ's parents were there; our friend/more like a sister, Tia; honorary grandparents (when we were without family in our part of the country) the Poets; and Donna, nursery pastor/like an aunt to the kids, all stood up with us during the dedication. 

Andrew was dedicated as a baby in our church when his dad was a worship pastor there, and it is awesome to add Ransom & Hosanna's names to the spiritual legacy that has some good roots in this church. 

Feasting

This has been one of the best weekends I can remember in a long time. Jesus has changed things in Andrew and I and we've been healed from cynicism we've given harbor to. This cynicism has been a bummer because it's held us back from experiencing unity with other believers and from fully embracing God's grace for us and others. 

This weekend has felt like a progressive feast in our pilgrimage, God ushering us into situations that confirm He's actively at work in our lives, to the little details that others would brush aside as coincidence. 

Uh uh. Nope. It's not coincidence.  The Holy Spirit strikes again!

We are thankful for our home church and the amazing people who sent us on this little road trip and the ones who prayed for us while we were away. We are immensely thankful for Andrew's parents, who stayed with our son, and showed him a good time. We are so thankful for friends along the way who encouraged us. We're thankful for friends at the end of the road who blessed us and have us a place to sleep, amidst a chaotic time for them. 

But most of all, we're so thankful for this God we serve, who has so kindly turned the tables to serve us this feast.

Taking a step of faith

Today we're stepping into unknown territory, taking a pilgrimage because it was an opportunity given to us. Lately faith has seemed so small, but we're stepping out & being obedient.

If there's something you're hesitating about that you know God's led you to do, just obey. Don't suffer through wondering what could have happened, know instead. 

Jesus is good.

Little worship leader

LToday, when I felt rushed and like I had too many plates spinning (like those performers who spin plates on their fingers and on these talk rods, those are a thing, right?) Ransom surprised me.

He was just there, hanging out by the fridge, singing,

"The steadfast love of The Lord never ceases. His mercies they never come to an end. They are new every morning..."

And then he would say, "Everybody sing together!" 

So I sang with him. What a gift that was.

A pep talk to myself

It's an hour after the kids should both be sleeping & I had grand ideas of sitting for a straight 45 minutes with hit cider, reading a book I've been eager to read (the husband had a band practice). Things don't go according to my plans, as I'm sure you saw coming, for, as soon as I put my asleep baby in her bed, her eyes came open and her expression said to me, "That was a great power nap. What shall we do next, darling mama? Hold me?"

Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no. 

So the last hour's been spent sleep training her, which is loud and no fun, but enables me to get some evening chores done between checking in on her. Focusing on reading a book won't work till she's sleeping.

So I finished the dishes and took the dumpsters to the curb and put some nuts in water to soak (because I like to pretend to be Paleo sometimes), longing for that spot on the couch. 

But, it's okay. No, doing all those chores don't make me feel like I'm coming alive the way reading a good book or creating something artistic might, but there's still opportunity as I do these things to bless and worship and delight, even to the sound of a restless baby. 

There is grace sufficient for me right now, this minute. Off I go to check on and kiss the baby girl. Soon enough she'll sleep on her own and I'll miss these cuddly days. 

Hosanna

This afternoon AJ pulled out the guitar and started to play the song he wrote for Hosanna, our daughter. She was sitting on my lap and as soon as she heard the music, she was enthralled. 

I wonder, is she old enough to recognize the song he wrote for her? She's heard it before. Or is she simply, happily so interested in this different noise, & the eye contact her daddy's giving her as he sings her song?

Oh boy, was she into it! She was kicking her legs and grinning, sputtering, making her own music in response. 

If there's one thing I can teach you,

It's that there's truth in your name.

One day we'll all sing out "Hosanna"

The coming of our Savior King.

And we will sing, we will sing,

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna, 

to our Savior King

Who will reign eternally.

It sort of wrecked me. Here, on my couch, a loving daddy singing his love over his little baby girl, and she was fully absorbed by it. She couldn't contain her joy. 

Beautiful.

Making space

Often when I glance around our home I get frustrated by all there is to do around the house. There's always something besides my family that's crying for attention and my mental to do list never gets completed. I know that it's a part of life and not abnormal.

BUT...

What a cute boy, right? What? You didn't notice him right away? Yes, that's a desk in the background. Maybe I should clean that mess up a bit...

Perhaps, I think, the disorganization and some of the excess stuff around here is taking up mental space and causing guilt and sneakily is taking up valuable time which I could think of spending in hundreds of different, fun, God-honoring ways. Grrr... Stuff maintenance shall not be my god.

Practically, we are a family with kids and someday we hope to have more, so I have a feeling there will be no shortage of stuff in our home, but it doesn't have to consume our lives!

So, today I'm thinking of decluttering as an act of worship. I am not going to make organization and perfection and materialism my god, but do my best to clear space for the things that matter more.

These links really inspired me. Enjoy!

http://smallnotebook.org/2011/02/21/loosen-the-grip-of-more-stuff/

http://www.thenester.com/2013/10/living-with-less.html

http://www.thenester.com/2012/10/31-days-nobodys-dream-job.html

Worship links

It's been a sick day for me today and so I instead of confusing you with my feverish writing, here are a couple of links to articles I've enjoyed pertaining to worship/art/bringing what you have to Jesus:

http://www.chattingatthesky.com/2013/10/10/one-word-that-is-sabotaging-the-art-you-live/

http://timandbrookecollier.wordpress.com/2013/10/01/do-not-despise-the-day-of-small-things/

Some favorite worship albums

Here's the first of two posts where I spill my favorite worship albums so you might be able to find some new music and say, "Yay, Jesus!" and offer your "Amen" to some of the Jesus worship that's going on. The point is not to worship the worship leaders or the art, but the Artist with a capital A. (Stole that "Artist with a capital A" from Emily P Freeman. She's a writer; look her up!)

In no particular order:

Happy worshipping! ;)

Married to a worship leader

My husband is a worship leader, my favorite one, which is a blessing and a curse. It means I am spoiled at our home church because I sort of know what to expect from the music. There will be songs with words I agree with, focused on Jesus. There will be smooth transitions between songs. It will be thoughtful and not rushed, but not too draggy-on-y. People will sing along. (Our church is a singing church, and I LOVE that!) And, AND there's an incredibly handsome and manly man on that stage singing and playing his guitar for Jesus! 

This is all great, but when I'm in a worship service that isn't what I'm used to, it can be easy to let the differences distract me from the One the worship is for.

Know what I mean? 

Awkward transitions. A harmony that doesn't work. Songs I've never heard before. A guitar solo during every song? Agh! I'm so distracted!

I am learning that I have to get over it. If I'm only having a good "worship experience" at my home church, I'm worshiping the wrong god. 

Jesus is worthy of heart-felt worship wherever I am, and it's immature of me to check out because the worship somewhere else is not my style. 

Cover your walls with worship

Continuing October's 31 Days of Worship in Real Life series, today I want to talk about displaying truth. 

Above is a picture of Ransom's room. There are some paintings on the wall, some decorated plastic frames filled with meaningful or cute illustrations, and this print of Psalm 23:1. 

Ransom has Psalm 23 mostly memorized, so when I happened upon this print, I knew I wanted to hang it in his room. He asked me what it said, so I told him. The next day I was putting clothes away in his room and he was climbing up on the crib, looking at the print as he quoted almost all of Psalm 23. That blessed me so much! It makes me want to find more scripture prints or to make my own scripture collages for our home so God's truth is decorating our walls and is seen by our eyes and becomes written on our hearts. 

AJ and I have an idea to have a prayer wall in our house, something we can cover with paper (or chalkboard paint, maybe, when we're not renters) and write our prayers on. We need to get on that project! 

How can you cover your walls with worship that honors Jesus?

Sing

(Since there ain't no one who does it like Julie Andrews...)

Singing. It seems so obvious, but outside the Sunday morning church building atmosphere, maybe singing doesn't come to mind much. 

In the last month or so, singing has been a game changer for me. It started when I came upon these verses: 

"But I will sing of your strength;

I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.

For you have been to me a fortress

and a refuge in the day of my distress.

 O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,

for you, O God, are my fortress,

 the God who shows me steadfast love."

Psalm 59:16-17

Putting on worship music (I'll share some of my favorites soon) and singing along helps the atmosphere of our home feel more pleasant, and it helps me keep my attitude in check. Singing silly songs to get smiles out of Hosanna or to make Ransom laugh feeds the delight I have in my children. Singing worship songs to them conveys truth, truth that may stick better than if just spoken without a catchy melody.

At the ladies retreat this weekend, there was a woman who told the story about how her 38 year old husband unexpectedly died, leaving her in a new-to-them town, with a new house, alone to raise their two kids when previously he had been the only one working. There was a day when she was curled up on the floor in her closet, feeling the pain of loss, and she sang. She worshiped Jesus even in that lowest point if grief. To the women at the retreat she said satan doesn't know what to do with a Chistian who has has suffered deep loss and pain and still praises God. She brought up Paul and Silas in Acts 16, men who'd been flogged and thrown in prison and still sang, worshiping their Savior. Then, to quote Sara Groves's lyrics about the story, "The dungeon shook and the chains fell off," and the prison guard put his faith in Jesus and he and his family were saved. 

All of this is to say, good things come of worshiping Jesus through singing. So go & sing a catchy song to Jesus and let it get stuck in your head. Sing it in the car, to your kids, at the grocery store, while you're doing the mundane tasks of life, and especially when you don't feel like it. 

Back to worship in real, real life.

While I was away with the baby at a ladies retreat, my husband was home with our little boy who was sick and had a fever. 

(AJ sent me this picture while I was away. I love how Ransom's still smiling even though he feels miserable!)

Coming home, after marinating in the sweet truths that it felt like God was dropping as gifts into my lap, it could be easy to slump into discouragement with a sick little boy to take care of, while trying to protect the baby girl from his bug. (Is it even possible to do that?! Perhaps quarantining him?) 

Glamorous worshiping is done for now. The new reality of worshiping Jesus looks like honoring my tired husband by sending him to bed early. Right now my worship offering is going to involve a lot of praying for health and cuddles and wiping noses and washing hands and reminding Ransom to cough into his elbow and giving him lots of fluids to drink.

This is okay with me. I recall my Jesus washing feet. 

"If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you."

--John 13:14-17

Here we go!

Eyes fixed upon

Hosanna and I are at a ladies retreat this weekend.

Aunt Kris (who is the national director of Open Bible Churches women's network) shared something during the session tonight that I love. She said her favorite moment at a wedding is after the bride starts walking down the aisle with her dad, everyone standing and looking at her as she smiles and takes it in. At about the halfway point to the altar, though, her eyes lock onto her groom, and that's it. Nothing else can distract her; her eyes are fixed on him. Aunt Kris said there was a moment during worship last night that felt like a similar scenario, that as we sang & worshiped Jesus corporately, distractions faded and we were fixated on him. 

I love that analogy of worshiping Jesus. Trying to keep that focus and to tuck it away for later.

"Looking to him, the author and perfectly of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2a)

Spontaneous worship

A perk of being married to a worship leader is that spontaneous worship just sort if happens occasionally. I was sitting on the couch, nursing baby girl after having just returned from breakfast out with AJ's aunt Kris (although I claim her too, she's lovey!) and his dad, Jon. Ransom brings a Bible storybook to Aunt Kris to have her read to him. The guitar is pulled out. Soon father and son are playing the worship songs that are on their minds. Hosanna finished nursing and watched and listened, bouncing to the music.

Three generations worshiping right there in the living room. This moves my heart to gratitude.

It's simple. It's informal. Didn't last long. It's how worship happens sometimes, and I love it.